we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
