I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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