We're like a lot better than the average bears
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
