How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
