Buhtt sex?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
