I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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