Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
