Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
