Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
