what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
