so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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