i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
