I'm drive I can fine osifer
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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