in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
