i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
this hospital has no fireball
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
