dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
