my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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