i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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