i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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