Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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