you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
