if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
