You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Bring me that man meat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
