Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
