i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just googled if crying burns calories
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
