Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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