On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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