Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My vagina is officially offended.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
