We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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