The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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