# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
lets start a swedish sibling band together
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
