Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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