is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
