Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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