we have pet lesbian snakes
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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