love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
