That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the day after is always just damage control
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
