The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
