what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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