There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
