there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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