Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
