I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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