Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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