Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
