I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You can't motorboat a personality
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
