So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Panties = found
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