I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
