pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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