talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
